No cream, please!
Authentic. Rich. Sugar-free.
The very stereotypes and negative perceptions of African American women have been embraced by many as the “resting b---- face”. We often laugh about it but the reality is many “other” professionals use it as evidence mentioned in emails or a quick verbal depiction to a superior as an act of intimidation that made them feel unsafe.
Please take a moment of silence for “an act of intimidation that made them feel unsafe.” After many unnecessary 911 phone calls prompted straight up by racism, I had to bring it back to the workplace. This is happening every day in every setting. Sometimes it is a bit more settled or secretive while actions such as human resource investigations are active due to complaints of harassment or bullying that have stem from a single response in a conversation.
Some professionals cannot handle a strong black educated natural born leader! It is clear and media shows it best. Fear builds when layers of security due to privilege and unfair advancement are peeled away with every ground-breaking idea, well-spoken, stimulating presentation, leadership and strength embodied by an African/African American. Two quotes come to mind that are undeniable.
911 is for emergencies, not your insecurities. – Jason Mitchell Although this statement is a fact, people bring their insecurities and share an office space with you every day. Do not dismiss. Listen closely. Respond appropriately.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent – Eleanor Roosevelt
This is why dialogue is important. Some issues are self-created not based on others’ actions or intent. It takes effort to not be bias due to the many factors that influence who we become.
Let’s keep it real. There are a few things that can be addressed that simply do not work.
Neck Role Control The truth is sometimes I have been guilty of being overly expressive during an immediate response to an inappropriate comment, requested task and/or unappreciative response to my excellent work. Do not get caught up with emotions. Control your body and verbalize the very thing that needs to be said.
Reads In my latter years, I have been told numerous times that I cannot be read and that they do not know what I am thinking. Then ASK! Our thought process is personal and internal therefore you know what is shared. If you are not a behavioral specialist that is qualified in studying depositions, word choice, gestures, etc. do not create your own story.
Respond Accordingly Make sure that the response email is well-written and timely. If you are anything like me, it is ok to process and discuss later. Preparation and practice is key to wisely select your word choice and display a strong yet appropriate disposition. This will increase your ability to express your concerns and not allow anyone to attempt to employ negative responses from you. Remember, manipulation is a negative craft that some have mastered.
Drop the Grit While there are a few organizations that promote a smile within African American communities, the trials we have endured as a people influence our deposition and choices more than realized. Every day in the midst of uncivil darkness there are people shining the light on the culture, creating a path to protect and lift the next generation higher.
Be for the Culture You are your competition. Therefore, you do not have to break down your neighbor to get what is yours. Do not participate in office whispers but pull your sister or brother aside to lend support. Support non-profit, community organization projects, and small to fortune 500 businesses. We need to work together to grow together.
Secret #5: Flourish without the cream (mask)!
Be you, appropriately, professionally, and unapologetically.